If you talk to almost any avid lucid dreamer, they will tell you the two activities that they most commonly engage when they realize lucidity in their dreams - flying and sex. Today I want to share with you how lucid dream sex can be a wonderful opportunity for delightful experiences as well as spiritual growth.
Benefit #1 Lucid dream sex can activate your inner playfulness and creativity. You can have so much fun in the night. You may choose a dream character to make love with, or you may intentionally invite someone into the dream. There are no rules of physical reality so you can get super creative with your positions, locations and sensations. I once had lucid dream sex where it felt like my yoni was infinitely long, an endless channel of pleasure. As my dream sex partner penetrated me, his energy traveled deeper and deeper inside of me, with no physical barriers to how deep he could go.
Benefit #2 It can help you get out of your head and into your body. Especially if you are someone who tends to be ‘in your head’ during sex, sexual lucid dreams can be a training ground for more embodied sexual experiences when you are awake. When we dream, our frontal cortex is naturally less active and our primal brain is naturally more active. Our frontal cortex controls our decision making, our judgment and our logical reasoning. Our primal brain is our older, deeper, more animalistic brain. It is the area where instincts originate. Thus, the focus of our consciousness when we are dreaming is different than the focus of our consciousness when we are awake. This allows for uninhibited, raw, primally sexual dream experiences without the interference of the logical mind. With practice, you can learn to bring this primal, embodied sexuality with you into your waking life.
Benefit #3 You can explore your sexual desires in a safe, controlled environment with no physical repercussions. Have you ever been curious about poly-sexuality? Bi-sexuality? Having sex with a particular person? Well, your dreams can be a wonderful place to explore these areas of your sexuality. They can fulfill these needs or desires of yours without you having to actually engage them on the physical plane. You may find that you are a very different person in your dreams than when you are awake, and this is important to be conscious of. Just because something feels right in a dream does not mean that it would feel right in waking life. This is okay. You can simultaneously honor both ways of being without needing to make them mean anything. If you do choose to have sex with a particular person, recognize that you are actually having sex with a version of that person that your mind has created, and not the actual person. Dreams are powerful, so you want to be careful not to project onto that person without their consent.
Benefit #4 Dream lovemaking can guide you to know the different aspects of yourself on a very deep level. I once had a dream in which my Inner Masculine was making love to my Inner Feminine, on an intergalactic throne overlooking our solar system. I first occupied the body of my Inner Masculine and then switched to the body of my Inner Feminine, so I got to experience being and making love with both of these aspects of myself. I experienced the nurturing, wise, magical aspects of my Inner Feminine, and the gentle strength of my Inner Masculine. It gave me a deeper appreciation of my whole self than I had previously experienced. When you make love in a lucid dream, ask yourself, “Which part of me am I occupying? Which part of me am I making love to?” Consider how you are showing up in this lovemaking experience. It will give you insights into how you show up with yourself, how you treat yourself and how you love yourself. You can apply a version of the golden rule here: ‘Do unto yourself as you would have others do unto you.’
Benefit #5 You can transmute passionate sexual energy into com-passionate love energy. One of the reasons I love working with sexual energy is that it is so potent, so tangible. While we might not all have a sense of what the energy of compassion feels like, most of us understand what the energy of sexual turn on feels like. If we start paying attention to the particular characteristics of our sexual energy, we can learn to elevate and expand that energy to experience our own energy of compassion. Our hearts are so connected to our genitalia. While having lucid dream sex, try using your breath to cycle your sexual energy from your genitals, to your heart, and then back down to your genitals. As you inhale, the energy moves up and as you exhale, the energy moves back down. Visualize this movement of energy as you breathe, and see what happens! See if you can learn to turn the heat of passion into the warmth of compassion.